


goddess of mine own hopes and dreams

by flamesgrace



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/F, Pre-Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24880999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamesgrace/pseuds/flamesgrace
Summary: Perhaps it was ironic that such overpowering sensation could come at the hands of a woman of ice, aether so associated with the frigid cold of Coerthas. Yet Shiva's embrace was nothing but warmth, and frigidity could go hang itself from the Gates of Judgement.
Relationships: Ysayle Dangoulain/Shiva
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	goddess of mine own hopes and dreams

Truly restful sleep had evaded Ysayle for years. Whether through the Mother's will or her own, closing her eyes meant opening her mind to the doubt she’d tried her utmost to quell. The cries of Ishgard's poorest as their homes were set ablaze had hounded her dreams ever since the Steps of Faith, the image of the dragons losing their senses burned into her nightmares. She'd lost herself in the rush of righteousness, laughing as the blind knights failed to hold back the onslaught, willfully ignoring that she was blinding herself.

The conviction that had fueled her through the cold for years was waning under the weight of her actions, and even the fact that crystals had become far easier to procure in the chaos was little comfort. She wondered if her goddess would still heed her call if she bid her come; perhaps the innocent blood on her hands would disgust her, blocking her from both power and divine comfort in one fell swoop. 

She wandered away from her blankets, accepting that she would find no rest that night while taking care not to wake what few of her followers had accompanied her to this most recent sanctuary. It would not do to all congregate in one location like an Ishgardian sermon, lest they be discovered once more. Instead, they had scattered themselves across Coerthas, its constant biting winds shielding them from prying eyes. 

Her feet took her to the tunnel where they had stashed their most recent haul of crystals, the dim but steady light making the tunnel glow in a way that should have been eerie, yet was oddly comforting. She could almost feel the aether coursing through her once more, shaping her into the woman of their deliverance. Allowing her goddess to use her as a vessel felt right in a way that few things ever had - it was her honour, her pleasure, to become one with the woman who had sought love and harmony above all else. 

But there lay that contradiction once more. In her heart, she knew she was in the right, that her cause was the just one, yet if that were truly so, surely she should be more confident. Not even Hydaelyn had an answer for her, the Mother's silence more deafening than ever. 

She let herself slide down the tunnel wall, gently coming to rest on the floor next to the largest cluster of crystals. She gently ran a finger over the nearest, causing it to glow brighter momentarily as if in answer to her touch. A soft blue, the colour of her goddess’s long legs, captivating in both their grace and strength. She thought for a moment of how well-matched they were; her own hair a near-perfect icy match for Shiva’s smooth skin, covered only by her metal bodice. 

Not for the first time she wondered what it would be like to summon Shiva not as her vessel, but as a follower, a companion. To be comforted and led by her in more than spirit, an elegant hand resting at the small of her back, high enough for propriety but low enough to make her shiver. Full lips brushing against her ear as she bent to share her will. This goddess forgave her transgressions and accepted her devotion with open arms, regardless of how much Ysayle deserved such kindness. Though if she were required to repent, she would do so only too gladly. 

She hadn't realised she'd closed her eyes until she felt a tender caress across her cheek and the tips of smooth fingers slowly moving down to her neck. 

The woman in front of her was one she'd only ever seen in her mind's eye, or in the clouded, jagged reflections of her memory. Her full lips stretched into a gentle smile as Ysayle drank in the sight of her. 

"My dear," said Shiva, her voice a low and melodic timbre that swept over Ysayle like a wave. "Such a troubled mind, and one all too hard on itself." A gloved hand trailed down her arm, gently pulling her to her feet by the hand. 

Ysayle stared. She must've still been dreaming, though she'd never known her dreams to be so lucid, even the Echo was hazy and dreamlike for all its truth. She tried to ask how Shiva could possibly be here in the waking world, without a vessel, without an incantation, but her voice refused to do her bidding. Only a cut-off question escaped her lips, quickly silenced by her goddess's slender forefinger. 

"Need you wonder how I came to be here? Your needs are more potent than you realise," she said, brushing a lock of Ysayle's hair away from her face and smiling softly at the answering intake of breath. "It is your resolve that summons me to you, not an incantation."

Something in Shiva's gaze told her that she knew exactly what thoughts had summoned her, not thoughts of resolve, but desire. She still couldn't speak, guilt shooting through her as hundreds of thoughts crossed her mind at once; was this a different version of the goddess entirely, was it wrong of her to think of her in this way, was it- 

"I would not show myself to just anyone," Shiva answered, responding to a question Ysayle had only just begun to think of. "Nor would I come to you as a result of momentary lust." She slowly dragged her finger across Ysayle's mouth, down her jaw and finally to her neck, brushing her quickening pulse with the tips of her fingers. "I know your devotion as if it were my own."

Ysayle inhaled sharply as the hand moved across her chest, the gap in her dress serving as the perfect spot. "I beg you, my lady, do not defile yourself for me," she said, her voice finally answering her pleas, if only as a murmur. 

"You think yourself unworthy of my attention?" 

"Please, don't stoop to my-" 

" _Enough_." Shiva's hands rose to Ysayle's shoulders and gripped tightly. "I am not above you, dear one. What must I do to convince you of it?" 

She wasn't sure that anything could convince her but looked up into white-blue eyes regardless. The lack of pupil and iris both should've been unnatural, even disturbing, yet she only felt a growing sense of security. 

Shiva smiled, gently increasing the pressure on Ysayle's shoulders. "Good. Let me show you just how worthy you are."

One hand slid around her shoulders, the other down to the small of her back as she was dipped backwards as Shiva bent to whisper in her ear, "This time, allow me to serve _you._ " Her lips touched skin as she spoke and Ysayle stifled a moan. Shiva sighed against her as she pulled their bodies together so they touched from chest to thigh.

"Do you want this, dear Ysayle? You need only say the word, and I swear never to touch you again."

The sound of her name coming from those lips sent a shudder down her spine. A simple murmur of consent was all that stood between her and what she'd secretly always longed for. Her goddess had praised her resolve, but she herself had worn it down to nothing. 

She pressed her cheek against Shiva's and gave her the permission they both desired. 

Shiva gave a low, throaty groan and dragged her lips down to Ysayle's neck and bit down, hard. The shot of pain that wracked her body brought nothing but pleasure as she failed to hold back a gasp. She wound her arms around her Shiva's neck and pushed her hands into cold hair while lips pressed against the newly-made wound and sucked. 

Perhaps it was ironic that such overpowering sensation could come at the hands of a woman of ice, aether so associated with the frigid cold of Coerthas. Yet Shiva's embrace was nothing but warmth, and frigidity could go hang itself from the Gates of Judgement. 

Shiva chuckled against her throat. "They are the heretics for denying themselves so," she said, punctuating her words by sweeping Ysayle clean off her feet, rendering her breathless before holding her like the knights of Ishgard would hold their equally devout wives as they left the cathedral. "We are more righteous than the lot of them."

"Is it righteousness you want me to feel?" 

Their mouths were scant inches apart as they leaned towards each other, Shiva's warm breath almost draconic in its intensity. "I want you to feel everything."

Ysayle abandoned the last remnants of her hesitation and dragged Shiva's mouth down to meet her own. The feeling of their lips together was indescribable, all rational thought becoming utterly irrelevant as her lips opened at her goddess' request. She could only pull her in deeper, wordlessly asking to be devoured even more. If only the Holy See could see her now, surrendering himself to the dreaded woman of ice, the consort of dragons. The very idea of their indignation made her ache, but they would never know how Lady Iceheart could burn under the touch of the right woman. 

Shiva hummed thoughtfully as she set Ysayle back on her feet, hands falling to her chest and lingering there before undoing the first clasp of her coat and pushing it from her shoulders. Ysayle wore nothing else to cover her chest, leaving her fully bared for the heady pleasure of Shiva running a gentle hand across the most sensitive parts of her chest, her other hand moving to the small of her back where she'd always wanted it to be. Shiva's mouth descended down her neck once more, this time not stopping until she'd reached the swell of her chest. Ysayle felt her knees buckle as warm lips closed around her, swirling in such a way that the hand on her back was the only thing keeping her upright. 

"Care to take the weight off your feet?" Shiva asked, a satisfied smile gracing her face when Ysayle gave her a breathless word of assent. After releasing the second clasp of her coat she picked her up once more, this time laying her gently upon the ground, the rich blue coat serving as an unnecessary comfort. Only her skirt and boots were left to cover her, and Shiva seemed in no hurry to remove them. 

Ysayle pressed her legs together when Shiva resumed the attention on her chest, giving herself pressure where she needed it, though it was nowhere near enough. Just on cue, Shiva started to move her hands slowly down Ysayle's body, caressing her bare waist as they made their way down to her thighs. 

"Most of your kind would be cold wearing so little here," she murmured as she slipped the tips of her fingers under the hem of the skirt. 

Ysayle's answering shiver had nothing to do with the cold. "Perhaps I owe that to you."

It took all her resolve not to cry out as Shiva's fingers caressed her through her long-sodden undergarments. "Such heat is for me, is it? You flatter me so."

A moan finally escaped her lips when Shiva bent to press her mouth between her legs in a gentle kiss. It felt like the ultimate form of blasphemy, the goddess consort of dragons knelt before her, granting the kind of pleasure that no mortal ever could, turning her into the perfect heretic, the perfect antithesis to the Holy See. 

Shiva granted her a single caress of her tongue before she got to her feet once more. Ysayle had met very few women taller than her, but the goddess stood almost a foot taller than her, seven feet of sheer grace and power. She wore her height with such elegance, something that Ysayle was only too happy to indulge in when she served as a vessel. A long finger under her chin interrupted such thoughts as she gazed at Shiva once more. 

She took one of Ysayle's hands and brought it to the chest of her bodice. "Undress me," she said, not quite an order.

For once Ysayle regretted Shiva's choice of attire. There were no folds or clasps to be seen, and she suspected she wore a comically improved expression as Shiva soon began to chuckle softly. 

"My dear, you granted me this form, did you not? You need only wish me naked and it will be so, as long as that is what you truly desire."

It was a veiled opportunity out, but an opportunity nonetheless. She need not take this any further than it already had, could will herself back to reality and consign this night back to the depths of her fantasies. 

Instead, she placed her hand on her goddess's chest and willed her bodice to melt away like ice in summer, revealing the tantalising expanse of smooth skin beneath. She was gorgeous; from the proud set of her shoulders, her perfectly proportioned chest, the wide curves of her hips, all the way down to the graceful arch of her feet. 

Ysayle pulled Shiva's mouth to hers in a final act of acquiescence and felt full lips curl into a smile against her own. "There are few things I desire more," she answered. 

"May I give you the strength to fight on, dear Ysayle. Now lie back."

She was only too happy to do so, watching as Shiva bent before her in all her naked majesty to pull down her skirt, finally leaving them both fully bared to the other's satisfaction. She laved attention on Ysayle's chest once more, sucking beautifully agonising marks down her cleavage and stomach, finally coming to rest between her legs again. Ysayle shuddered as long fingers began to rub circles against her, feeling her heartbeat throb through her, down to where Shiva's fingers had increased their pressure where she was most sensitive. 

She tried to suppress her embarrassment at the particularly loud moan that left her as the long fingers caught against her opening. Her hands reflexively returned to Shiva's hair, now free of its extravagant headpiece, having melted away along with the rest of her meagre clothing. 

The very tip of one long finger entered her slowly, then paused. "Do you wish me to be gentle?" Shiva asked, her tone doing little to mask her desire. 

Ysayle was only too glad to give it to her. "Only at first."

Shiva hummed in satisfaction as her finger entered her properly, gently caressing Ysayle from the inside and making her feel warmer than she'd ever thought possible. Not even her own hand could make her feel like this, her goddess seemed to know her better than she knew herself, knew exactly where to stroke, exactly how firm she should start. 

Shiva pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her hip as she worked. "Another?" 

Nothing would've pleased her more. "Another. Please."

Ysayle gasped as another finger slowly joined the first, spreading apart then crossing suddenly. It was rougher, but perfectly so. She wondered absently whether her followers could hear her cries as pleasure wracked her body, but knew that Shiva would never give her cause for embarrassment, nor would she put the loyalty of her men in jeopardy. Shiva's lips joined her fingers in their attentions, bringing Ysayle to the point of no return, unable to keep her eyes open as shudders wracked her body. 

Shiva coaxed her through it, slowing her movements but not her pressure, allowing Ysayle to savour her peak while prolonging her waves of pleasure. Ysayle opened eyes she hadn't realised were still closed and looked down at her goddess, only to see her wearing an expression that could only be called smug. 

Her fingers did not cease their movement as she spoke. "I take it that was to your liking, my dear?" 

She would've rolled her eyes had that question been posed by anyone else. Instead, she wordlessly brought Shiva's occupied hand to her mouth in a reverent kiss while their eyes met. It stood to reason that their eyes were the same shade, yet her goddess's were bright with a power that Ysayle could only borrow. 

Fine lines did nothing to mar Shiva's perfect features as she looked back sadly. "You cannot borrow what is already yours," she said. "I could never be here without your power, your determination, and yes - your desire. How often must I tell you?" 

"I fear I will never believe it."

"You will." Shiva sharply tugged Ysayle into her lap without warning. "Before I take my leave, I promise you will."

Ysayle's reply was interrupted by a heady kiss, almost desperate in its intensity, Shiva's hands a vice grip on her hips. A sharp tug sent them both the ground, Ysayle landing perhaps inelegantly atop Shiva’s naked body. Even after what they’d already done, she felt herself flush at their position, at the intoxicating feeling of one so powerful spread so willingly beneath her. The smirk had returned in full force, a wordless reminder that every one of Ysayle’s desires was bared to her.

As she slowly dragged her mouth down the length of her goddess's torso, she marvelled at the feel of soft curves against her lips. She'd never had enough time for such simple indulgences; there was always work to be done, plans to be made. Innocence was no longer something she could claim, but every other paled in comparison to Shiva. She'd always had a complicated relationship with sex, so perhaps it stood to reason that true pleasure could never be granted to her by mortal hands.

Soft moans soon filled her ears, and Ysayle could scarcely believe so sweet a sound was possible and would've thought it a feverish dream if not for the endless warmth against her mouth. The knowledge that it was she who drew out those moans was more heady than even her own pleasure. That she could make a goddess feel that way should've felt blasphemous, but the Ishgardians could keep that notion for themselves. They could keep Halone and her thrice-damned broken society. She had Shiva, and together they would see the end of the ceaseless conflict, even if it took an age to restore the heights of her resolve, even if it took a lifetime to achieve.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> it's criminal that no one has posted ysayle/shiva on this site before, truly


End file.
